When He Won’t Commit

There is a pandemic in our culture of people who are afraid of commitment. They want the affection and the attention like Charlie Puth sings in this song, but they don’t want to intentionally invest their time because they are afraid of devoting themselves to another person. Commitment has responsibility attached to it and requires consistantly putting another person’s needs above your own.

18013831_229785067501122_5461622332197961728_nAnyone who makes you beg for his time is not someone you want playing on your team. I want someone who not only desires to spend time with me but who is excited to and who considers it a privilege. I want someone who misses me when I’m not there and can’t wait to see me again. I want someone I am proud to show off to my friends and family. I don’t want anything to do with anyone who flakes out when we made plans and leaves me wondering what happened without communicating.
flaky

If you’re involved with someone who makes you feel special some of the time but won’t commit all the way,  you need to get out of that relationship as soon as possible. The reason for the lack of commitment isn’t fear: it’s that he doesn’t love you. When a man loves you he WILL move Heaven and Earth to be right by your side.

A man who won’t put a title on your relationship or make you a priority in his life is just stringing you along. He considers you “Miss Right Now” rather than “Miss Right.” He enjoys your company for the moment but once he finds the woman he really wants, you’ll be an afterthought. If you don’t mind being Miss Right Now, then by all means, continue having fun. However, your heart will probably get invested the longer the relationship continues and it wil hurt excruciatingly once it ends.

You might think you can somehow become that woman he wants or convince him to change his mind about you. Some men know exactly what they want and some men aren’t sure but trust me, if you aren’t already what he wants, he won’t want you. You’re better off finding somebody who already wants somebody just like you.

I keep using he/him-pronouns but women string men along, too, all the time unfortunately. This sad song by Eric Paslay illustrates my point perfectly. Break out the tissues.

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2 thoughts on “When He Won’t Commit

  1. Sophia says:

    Spot on and BRILLIANT. One of my favorite posts so far.
    Men aren’t complicated- it’s women making excuses for them who want to believe they are so they can live in the denial of what you just wrote and not have to face the reality of such relationship. I think women need to get off the silly Merry go Round of “I wasn’t good enough for him”- what they should be saying is: “I’m not the One for him, but I don’t want to settle for the crumbs. I am the One to MY One, and when I find him I will understand why it never worked with the others”.
    Men fall in love pretty damn fast when they find the One. It’s been my experience (not just my own but what I’ve seen with family and friends) that it’s pretty much immediate. You are right: you can’t convince (or should even try) someone into loving you. You may have them for a little while, until the One shows up for him- then it’s over for good.

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