The Devil is a LIAR!

April 3rd marked four years of being single. I have been officially single as long as I’ve been married. To commemorate this occasion I had to write another blog entry.

So many of my posts lately have the theme of “love yourself,” like this one here for instance.

There is something I realized about self-esteem: it’s a positive thing in theory to have confidence in your own worth but the devil loves to distort good things because he’s in the business of deception.

I apologize for being part of the problem when our culture lies to us and tells us we need to “love ourselves.”

Don’t get me wrong, we do have inherent value but it’s not because we’ve bestowed it upon ourselves. It’s not even because we’ve reminded ourselves of our intrinsic worth in God’s eyes.

If we go purely based on what God says in His Word, we are extremely precious (Matthew 6:25-34, Luke 12:6-7) because we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-16)  in His image (Genesis 1:27) for a beautiful purpose (Ephesians 2:10, Jeremiah 29:11) and dearly loved by Him (Romans 5:8, Romans 8:32, John 3:16).

We can stand in the mirror all day and recite self affirmations, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!” Doing this every day when you wake up in the morning and before you go to bed might even give you a strong sense of being loved, but this is not the way to truly experience the fullness of God’s love.

Yes, I do love myself, maybe even so much that one might say it borders on pride. (The negative kind.) My pride was brought down a peg or two when my good friend Jamie helped me to realize that I had been listening to the devil’s lies again. See, the devil likes to attack us where we are strong. I happen to have a lot of self confidence so the devil decided to twist this and use it against me.

After a series of dates with men who are not my spiritual equal I was beginning to feel a little puffed up. (I guess I felt like it was better than feeling chronically frustrated and disappointed.) I mean, it’s hard not have your ego stroked when a guy tells you, “You are an amazing person… I consider myself Christian and live Christian values but obviously I’m not at the same level you are with your devotion.” This has happened to me countless times that it’s starting to become a theme. I’m truly grateful that they notice this and tell me right away because I’m not really good with that whole thing… it sounds pretty judgemental to say “we’re not on the same level” doesn’t it?

One day I woke up and just started feeling sorry for myself. I heard the devil say, “You’re so unique, you’re not ever going to find anyone who is compatible with you. You’re a freak anomaly… even if you did find someone as weird and quirky as you, what are the chances you’d be like-minded? I sat on the pity pot all day and thought about why I’m alone and why I’ll probably always be alone.


Then my best friend posted this on her Facebook wall and it gave me a swift kick in the pants. I realized my “woe is me” attitude problem was a serious pride problem, too.


The Bible says no one really hates their own body but nourishes and cherishes it (Ephesians 5:29). We are deeply sensitive to our own needs and feelings and constantly aware of how other people affect us. The reason we are so easily hurt is because we want to be accepted and treated with respect and admiration. If we didn’t care about ourselves then we wouldn’t care if people rejected, neglected, and abused us. No, we do not need to love ourselves… that is an innate, natural thing to do. What we really need to do is DENY OURSELVES. 

Jesus said that “If any of you wants to be My follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow Me” (Matthew 16:24). He also said if you are unwilling to do this then you are not worthy of Him (Matthew 10:28).

Our problem is not that we have poor self-image… it’s that we have a poor image of who God is. Our need is not to love ourselves more but to accept His incredible love for us. We need to give up any idea of what we think we’re here on Earth to do and submit to His plan for our lives. When we abide in His love then we stop focusing on ourselves and instead we begin to shower His love on others instinctively.

I believe it is our pride and selfishness that keeps us from having an intimate relationship with God. Jesus said these chilling words in Matthew 7:21-23, “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of Heaven, but only the one who does the will of My Father who is in Heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and cast out demons in Your name, and do many mighty works in Your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you workers of lawlessness.'” 

I say these things because I feel compelled to. I know I won’t be Miss Popular for saying this but the Christian life is not easy. Many people choose the highway to Hell but the gateway to life is very narrow and only a few ever find it (Matthew 7:14).

“As for me, may I never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of that cross, my interest in this world has been crucified, and the world’s interest in me has also died.” (Galatians 6:14)

My prayer for you all who have stuck it out and are still reading this blog entry (thank you, btw) is that you would know how truly, madly, deeply loved you are. Only with the correct view of God’s love will you ever begin to even scratch the surface in understanding how precious you are. I pray you will know that you are worthy of great love and that you wouldn’t be afraid to open your heart to receive it. No one is really afraid of love… people are afraid of rejection, betrayal, and abandonment. But in Christ there is only complete acceptance and faithfulness. I pray you would have confidence in God’s love. He will never let you down and He will never leave you. There is no want to those who trust Him and those who seek Him will lack no good thing. Taste and see that the LORD is good! (Psalm 34:8-10) Not only is He good, but He is ready to forgive and abundant in lovingkindness to all who call upon Him. (Psalm 86:5)

“But those who wish to boast should boast in this alone: that they truly know Me and understand that I am the LORD who demonstrates unfailing love and who brings justice and righteousness to the earth, and that I delight in these things. I, the LORD, have spoken!” (Jeremiah 9:24)

6 thoughts on “The Devil is a LIAR!

  1. Sarah says:

    Hi. You don’t know me, but I came across your blog by chance and have been periodically checking it out ever since. I’m in my 30s and chronically single, so I connect with a lot of what you write here! I just wanted to say that, although I think I see what you’re saying here about how *too* much self-love is a bad thing when it turns to pride, I actually found your April 8 entry to be really encouraging and uplifting personally. (Plus April 8 was my birthday, so I kind of felt like it was a birthday present from God through you!)

    I’m essentially the complete opposite of you personality-wise. I’m not vivacious, bubbly, or outgoing. I’m very, very introverted, quiet, and prefer to keep to myself. I like to thoroughly observe and think things through before speaking up. Unfortunately, this means I usually come off to others as aloof, rude, or snobby, even though I don’t mean to be. It’s led me to develop a lot of anxiety, frustration, and doubt about myself and my place in the world–where I fit, so to speak, in a world based entirely on social connections. It often makes me feel useless, including in church and ministry spheres, which are so often based on being able to easily engage with people you don’t know. Not to mention the difficulty of finding a spouse when it’s so hard for me to even meet other people, let alone connect with someone enough to build that kind of a rapport. I often cry out to God, asking him why he didn’t make me more social and outgoing.

    All that to say, when I read your April 8 entry, I felt like God was gently reminding me that he didn’t make a mistake when he made me a quiet introvert instead of an outgoing extrovert, and that he still has a purpose for me even though I have difficulties socially. I might just need to wait a little longer and look a little harder to find out what that purpose is. So again, while I agree with your post here about how too much self-confidence can trip us up, I just wanted to say I hope you don’t feel like you have to apologize for all your past entries on the subject, because they really have been a help and a blessing for me.

    • WOW! Thank you so very much for that encouragement. Sometimes I wonder if anyone is actually reading this blog. LOL! I have no idea what kind of impact I’m makig unless people speak up so thanks for the comment it means a LOT and HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 😀

  2. Sophia says:

    “You are an amazing person… I consider myself Christian and live Christian values but obviously I’m not at the same level you are with your devotion.”

    I read this and immediately my menspeak translator deciphers it within a second: “yeah I’m a believer, I love God and all, go to church, read the bible, but NO SEX???!!!”

    Believe me: you are a unicorn. Like the scores of guys have advised you: don’t settle. Be more picky. A man who’s truly in love with you and has found the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with will wait for you because he knows not waiting or pressuring you will be a weight around the neck after saying “I do”. No one should ask another to betray their God or their faith.

    • Oh honey, I’m kind of a nymphomaniac. (With God-given self-control lol.) You’re right, I have never had sex outside of marriage but I don’t think this man and I even had this conversation. (I can’t remember?) Anyway, I’m guessing that in full working order your menspeak translator is, young padawan. (That is precisely the reason other men rejected me in the past.)

  3. Sophia says:

    Oh how you made me laugh😂😂
    Yes I remember those stories, that’s why I referred to them. I’ve just been around the block called Life for a longer while and I know many stories of women whose boundaries (not just sex- they can be anything) were changed (by the woman- because they were afraid of losing the guy) and that shit never worked out- because if you don’t mean what you say and can be talked into changing your mind- you are not respected. We think men like that because they’ll feel special but in the end the respect is gone. Nothing is sexier than a woman who knows what she wants and means it.
    By the way- in case I haven’t said so yet- I love your blog-

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