As long as my marital status remains as is, there is an illusion of hope for reconciliation. But I have met with my pastor, prayed without ceasing, and pleaded with my husband to attend marital counseling with me for over a year. It doesn’t look like I’m ever going to be able to move on from this or close this chapter in my life provided that I’m still legally married on paper. It gives me the false sense that I can still cling to the thin threads of my marriage that ripped away long ago. In his words, “We are already divorced in my heart. I don’t need a paper to tell me that.” I need to be able to get on with life so that I can look towards my future with hope and confidence. I finally looked into getting paperwork today and finding out exactly how much its going to cost. This whole thing is scary and heartbreaking.
I ask for your prayers as I continue to pray about going through this.