It has been brought to my attention that certain people have been using my blog and the things I say here as gossip material. Um, that’s not why I wrote this blog. So please stop. I’m sure your intentions were pure and harmless but please don’t repeat the things you read here to other people who haven’t read it. (That’s how words get twisted and people get upset.) I’d rather they just read it for themselves. The whole reason I composed this blog was to keep the people I care about abreast with my situation. People didn’t know what was going on so I decided to tell them rather than live a lie. I feel like I’m so far away from the church family I grew up in and they don’t see me on a regular basis anymore like they used to so I wanted to show them that I’m crushed and I’m hurting but I’m doing okay and God is good. I wanted to share this journey that I’m on… all the confusing questions about what to do next, all the painful, lonely tears. I am just trying to work out where I am and I wanted to invite those who once walked alongside me to walk alongside me again. I’m not asking for advice. I’m not asking for your opinions about what I should or shouldn’t do next. I’m simply asking you to come sit beside me, grab a cup of tea, read what I’m pouring out of my heart to you, and just try to understand. I have literally NO ONE to go through this with. I don’t know anyone else whose husband left them in this way and I don’t have any friends I can confide in and relate to who have been through a similar situation. My friends are all happily married with bouncing babies on their lap. My situation confuses them and stresses them out and though they’d like to comfort me, they simply don’t know how to be there for me. This blog is cheap therapy for me. I can express my feelings and my thoughts and they are out in the open, no longer trapped inside me. People can either read it and respond or do nothing. Either way, I’m just happy I can encourage some people along the way. This blog was an easy way to gather my thoughts together in one place and organize them. I didn’t start it as a bash fest against my husband. Au contraire, I love my husband and harbor no ill will against him. I admit that I do feel a tiny bit of anger toward him and I’m working on letting it go. I think it’s righteous anger though, because it stems from my desire for my husband to obey the Lord and stop living in violation of His Word. To update you on my situation, I am still waiting for peace from the Lord on what to do next. Reconciliation at this point is impossible, but nothing is impossible with God. So I will keep waiting on Him and trusting His ways. God is faithful and will not leave me without direction or wisdom. Since I still don’t know which path to walk, I will just stay where I am and keep waiting for the Holy Spirit to give me the answers.